22 posts tagged “diary”

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Suddenly she can smell the forest, the dry pine forest ground, the special smell of the sticky pine sap. In her mind she opens her eyes, and there it is. A small freshwater lake surrounded by a dense pine forest.

She is sitting on a ledge only three meters over the water. It is summer, white and yellow water lillies dipping gently in the water in the small bay to the left, right ahead a rockface protruding from the trees, behind it the place she goes swimming all summer. across the water on her right is the lodge built by the beaver family that settled there a couple of years back. It is getting big.

She leans her back on a fir tree and close her eyes and takes in the smell again. A small splash in the water tells her the fish are having dinner. Over the waterlilles dragonflies hover. Occationally a dragonfly finds its way to her ledge. She loves the dragonflies. They are so majestic in a way. Colourful. Blue, green, red. Closing her eyes again she listens to the sounds of the forest. The twitter of small birds, a couple of crows having a conversation far away. The gentle rustle of dead leaves by some small animal somewhere behind her - could it be a mouse? Or maybe a bird. She sits completely still not to scare it away.
It is getting late - dusk is here, and she should be heading home, but she knows she will be able to hear her mother's call when it is time to come home. She relaxes and savor the impressions from her surroundings.

Suddenly she hears a big splash in the water. She turns towards the sound to see what it is, and she forgets to breathe for a second when she sees what made the splash. A big animal - the king of this forest - a moose - has found its way down to the water. He starts drinking a little, then wades out in the water and starts swimming past her and across the lake. He struggles a little getting up on the other side, finally climbs up - stops for a moment and turns his head as if he knows she is watching him - as if he looks at her and says "I know" with some strange kind of heartfelt concern for her. She is enthralled, under a spell while watching him until he disappears between the trees.  This is why she so loves this place. You never know what is going to happen next. She feels at home here - away from the world of people where she feels so misunderstood, so out of place.

She puts her hand in her pocket and takes out her little stash of pebbles in her pocket, and looks at today's treasures - all smooth and special rocks in different sizes and colours - all feels good in her hand. She  takes one and throws it in the lake. She just loves the sound of the rock hitting the water, watching the small splash and the rings spreading out and eventually disappearing. She is aware of the symbology in the act, throws another just to remind herself that even if the problem seems big now, the repercussions will eventually lessen and disappear somewhere down the road - just like the rings on the water. She takes a deep breath as she hears her mother call for her. She answers the call, stands up and whisper a "sorry to disturb you" to her friends in her little oasis, and runs home not even bothering to brush the pine needles and dead leaves off her trousers and teeshirt.

She opens her eyes and finds herself back at work, now with a crooked smile from the memory, the bad feeling still lurks, but is beaten for now. Beaten by a powerful memory from her past when the world - just for a few minutes - seemed absolutely perfect.

(UPDATE) - forgot to mention that unfortunately the image is not mine. fetched from the web. I WISH it was mine though..

OK - the germs are giving me a hard fight. They've taken my voice away completely which makes it really hard to answer the phone. Luckily there are few calls today. My colleagues are having fun trying to make me speak, and the head of security said "stay away from me spawn of satan" *lol* (OK - I'm laughing but there's no sound - so the "out loud" part is not exactly correct today... ) he's funny. I'm cold too, so I suspect the germs are trying to put the battle to an end by giving me a fever. But HA HA! I'm still at work fools! You have NOT beaten me yet! No appetite is good - I could use a day or two without food - it doesn't bother me. Y'hear germ spawn?

HA! I told them good huh?

 

Luckily I'm done shopping, and have just one thing left to do before going home on Friday. I have to exchange gifts with my nephew and his family. We had such a great time last Thursday. He had made his parents disappear for a few hours on Thursday so he and I could make a Christmas present for his mom. After finishing the present we talked. He's 11 and actually sat down in the sofa and we just talked. For almost an hour. And I've discovered we have so many things in common it's ridiculus. Either he's very grown up or I'm very childish? I'm actually leaning towards a combination but with a bigger chunk of my childishness than his grown up-ness. I am a real nerd, and interested in cartoons, computer games, fairies and fantasy. And these are my nephew's biggest interests at the moment. Let's just say that for once I had NO problem finding a Christmas gift for him. He was impressed when I knew so much about different cartoons he reads (some of them I read on a regular basis when I was his age), and I think he idolizes me for playing the same kinds of games he does (although he's getting a lot better than me I can still give him a fair fight!). We had a great evening of bonding, and I felt that I came a lot closer to him again. Still I'm his favorite aunt I think.. Let's see how long it'll last...

Friday came with a bullet - This week has gone by so quickly I hardly know what's been going on. I've been so busy with blogging at work, with my own little drama, changes etc, I hardly have noticed the days pass. It's a wonder I've actually managed to turn up for work. That I actually remembered to brush my teeth, go to bed in the evening and shower, brush teeth and go to work. Not to mention actually remembering to dress properly. My thoughts have been all over the place, but I'm now slowly managing to think normally again. Changes are getting normal again. I love it!

Have been to a loooong lunch at the musuem today. I miss having long lunches (I had them all the time when I was still at the university) and today was a special "Christmas lunch" with all my colleagues - all 120 of them of which I see maybe 5 on a daily basis. A lot of new faces, and one of them was a lovely girl who was recently accepted as a doctorand at the museum. We were introduced at the very start of the lunch, and ended up talking for three hours straight. I love getting to know new people! I love listening to the stories of a person you've never met before. Maybe she'll become a new friend? I hope so. I liked talking with her.

i like such lunches. I know so many of these people from places and jobs I've been before and I rarely see them these days. I managed to get updates on most of the people I studied with that are also working at the museum. It's going to be a looong day, though. I'm meeting some other colleagues later this evening for dinner, and then we're going to a pub or three. I have no idea where this'll end. But I bet it'll be fun!

 

Have a great weekend y'all!

Dazed. Confused.

Am I going mad?

It's as if I'm moving in slow motion

and the world pass in fast forward.

 

I'm observing

from outside myself

as I make discoveries

about myself.

 

Earth shattering

lifechanging

mindblowing

discoveries.

 

Another puzzle solved

just a gazillion left

Changing my fate?

 

secrets unveiled

another layer unwrapped

 

this is a story of my life.

I had a great trip to Trondheim this weekend. I've been there before, and all three times I've been there the weather has been amazing. I took a few photos to share with you. First is my friend the lecturer:

 

He was really happy his groupies came. We weren't all that many listening, but we had a great time. We were there for over three hours - including meditation time. The lecture lasted almost two hours, then questions and meditation. I'm so impressed with my friend - he did great! He's only been a Buddhist for five years, but he has come so far. If I have questions - he's the one I ask even though we have people in the sangha who have been practicing Buddhist for more than ten years. His answers are always understandable.

I also went to see the cathedral. It's the only cathedral in Norway, and the patron saint is of course Saint Olaf. Saint Olaf died in a battle not too far from Trondheim, and in the middle ages Trondheim (then Nidaros) was the capital of Norway. Most of the cathedral has been reconstructed, and there are always ongoing restauration work going on.

The close-up shows where a cross has been embedded in the wall. This was an important pilgrimage church, and the pilgrims would walk around the church and kiss the crosses. The crosses was removed after the reformation, although people used the church as a pilgrimage church well after the reformation. There has been a revival of pilgrims coming here the last few years, and the Norwegian princess Märta and her husband Ari went on the pilgrim road from Oslo to Trondheim just before they married.

Also - a funny story - on top of one of the towers at the west front (the one with all the statues) there's a statue of Gabriel. It's a new reconstruction as so many of the statues (the old ones was carved in soft stone and it was almost impossible to see any details on them) and it is said that the carver of this new reconstruction was a fan of Bob Dylan, and played his music as he carved the statue. When it was done his colleagues noticed the statue has Bob Dylan's face. It is too high up on the tower for anyone to confirm the story, so if it is true or not I don't know. But woudn't it be great to have Gabriel with Dylan's face?

 

The closeup here is kind of interesting. It is obviously a music instrument - and it was carved into the wall in the middle ages. The sign above the instrument is a sign for one of the workers who buildt the church. It's sort of his signature. The first picture was taken from the courtyard of the archbishop residence next to the cathedral. It was taken at 1.30 pm!! Going even further north you won't see the sun at all at this time of year. In Trondheim there's at least a couple of hours of daylight and sun.

Unfortunately it's not allowed to take photos inside the church, but it's a beautiful church.

what happened??

Suddenly they're playing only Christmas songs on the radio... Just because it's Dec 1st? I really hope they'll get tired of it soon, cause I know I will. It's ok with some Christmas songs - but I'd like a mix...

I've been too absorbed in Second Life and I'm kinda scared to see how much time I spend on there. I've made a couple of friends, and are making some money to cover my shopping. I've been exploring some, but mainly I've been dancing to earn money. It's soo timeconsuming. But what I've done the last couple of days is that I let my girl dance while I'm sleeping, and then when I'm actually on SL I explore with friends. That's a lot more fun! So now I'm going to try skydiving and scubadiving. Two things I've never done for real..

I think it's a good thing I won't be able to log on SL this weekend. I'm going away for a couple of days. My Buddhist friend Ove is holding a lecture in Trondheim tomorrow, and I'm going there to be his "groupie" :) I figured he'd need some support since it's his first time holding a public lecture like this. An hour and half! I'm going by train tonight with another Buddhist friend of mine. We're taking the night train, and will be in Trondheim bright and early tomorrow morning around 7 am I think. I'm really looking forward to this weekend - it'll be nice to get away from Oslo again for a few days. And good for my flat mate too - her exams are coming up, and it'll be good for her to have the flat to herself.

I was at my dinner club again yesterday. I'm still really really pleased with myself for coming up with the idea. I love it! But since one of the members just had a child, we're only three and are looking for a new fourth member. I think it'll be a guy this time. That'll be fun! we're still meeting once every month, and we've done this for two years now. And we've still managed not to serve the same dish twice. That's part of the challenge - serve three dishes, and none of them should be served twice. So we have a cookbook where we write down everything that has been served up to now. It's a great cookbook now! all vegetarian recipes too (although we do allow serving white fish). I'm thinking that making that dinner club was one of my dfinitive brightest ideas to date...

6 - how many times I've tripped over a paper recycling box on the floor in my office. And that's just today...

2 - how many hours I spent in a meeting with the souvenir shop people this morning

4 - how many times I've been on the phone with my boss. (AND he was here for three hours this morning - attending the same meeting as I did)

37 - the number of people I've let in for free today

5 - how many times I've heart Placebo's Protege moi at work today

7 - the number of glasses of water I've had so far today (it's 3pm)

200 - the number of times I've thought how little I have to do at work. (rough number... probably not that high, but I do think about that quite often)

18 - number of phone calls I've answered - not including the 4 from my boss (wow! it's been more busy than I thought today! *lol*)

4km (2 miles?) - the distance I'm going to walk after work

47 - number of minutes I spent from leaving home until I got to my office.

 

Normal, "boring" day for me so far. But tonight I'm going to party! I'm invited to a house-warming party. Most of the people going there are Buddhists, so we'll have a lot of fun. Must remember to buy some wine after work. It'll probably be a late night... YAY!

I've been a good girl today and walked two miles. It's not a lot, but at least it's better than taking the bus all the way.

And I had to get rid of that small chocolate I had for lunch. And yes - I'm paying for having that chocolate at the moment.. Yuck! I'm not a fast learner, am I? That meant no going to the Sangha tonight for meditation and sangha meeting. I bet they survived without me, but I really wanted to go today. No point when you have to run for the bathroom every 20 minutes because of a stupid chocolate. When will I learn??
So instead of going to the sangha, I bought a film to watch. I needed action, and they had The Fast and the Furious on sale. I thought "why not?" and bought it.
I like fast cars, and I enjoy cool stunts. If I'm in the right mood. And I was tonight - and got plenty of both.
What I realized, though, as the film neared its end, I've seen it before. Obviously it didn't make that big of an impression on me then since I couldn't remember until thefilm was almost over. It's not an artsy or really intelligent film. It's all raw action. 100% testosterone, but I like that every now and then. And I'm not going to object to seeing Vin Diesel in a lead role. I felt like I'm back in highschool for a moment admiring his muscles like that. I would never have fallen for him in real life - at least not unless I fell for his personality, but sometimes just watching is good. It doesn't nessecarily mean I wanna eat the cake...

Here are pictures of what I've been doing this weekend. I painted my mom's bedroom, and these are the before and during pictures. Her bedroom isn't really that big, but there's a couple of nooks that take a lot of time and work to get done. The shelf on the middle picture we threw away. It's the last bit of a section of three we had in the house where I grew up. But then it was really dark brown - almost black. Then we redecorated the livingroom, and my mom painted it pink. 7 coats of paint it took to cover the dark brown completely. My mom didn't want it any more, so we tossed it. My mom had already removed most of the stuff in her room before I got there, so I couldn't take real "before" pictures, but you get the colors at least. It changed from green to a light grey with a hint of red. So it's a warm grey.

And here are we - me and my mom painting. I always wear a cap backwards when I paint, gardening, housework or whatever. I think the habit started when I had long hair.

Lastly - here's the result, and I'm really pleased. It looks really good I think. The ceiling got two coats, walls two (some places three), the closet got three coats, the door two coats, window three. My mom painted the furniture - the bedside table, the bed and the dresser. And then of course cleaning and putting everything back - it's a BIG job considering we did it in two and a half days.

 

These pictures was actually taken at about 3pm on Monday -and see how dark it is! Granted - it was raining, but still! I didn't realize until I saw the photos just now...

 

I really enjoyed painting - it's great doing something completely different from what I do every day. And it feels really good to be of help. It's really satisfying! I was completely beat - but it was sooo worth it when I saw her face when it was all done. And I must admit I'm still a bit angry with my sister. It turns out it's been two years (not one) since she promised my mom to paint the bedroom...